Healing from Emotional Invalidation
You weren’t too emotional.
You were in an environment that didn’t know how to respond to emotion.
Let’s talk about this.
Because if you’ve ever been told you’re “too sensitive,” “overreacting,” or “dramatic” for simply having feelings, you’ve likely internalized the message that your emotions are a problem.
But what if I told you the problem wasn’t you, it was the emotional literacy (or lack thereof) of the people around you?
Emotional Expression Isn’t Excessive: It’s Human
As a therapist, I hear this every single day:
“I cry too easily.”
“I get so emotional and can’t control it.”
“I wish I wasn’t so sensitive.”
But here’s what those statements usually mean:
“I grew up in an environment where my emotions weren’t met with empathy.”
“I learned early on that feelings make people uncomfortable.”
“I was told my pain was too much, so I started believing it.”
If any of that feels familiar, you’re not alone. You didn’t develop “too many feelings.”
You developed perfectly normal emotional responses in a place that didn’t know how to receive or validate them.
The Environments That Teach Us to Silence Ourselves
Where does emotional invalidation often originate?
Families that prioritized stoicism or image over emotional honesty
Schools that rewarded quiet compliance but punished expression
Relationships that used guilt, withdrawal, or criticism in response to your vulnerability
Cultures or communities that shame mental health, especially for women or marginalized groups
Over time, these emotionally invalidating environments teach you to:
Apologize for crying
Minimize your needs
Suppressing your reactions
Numb out instead of reaching out
And then when your body does express emotion, because it always will, you feel ashamed. You think you’re “too much.”
You’re not.
Emotional Capacity ≠ Emotional Burden
Being someone who feels deeply is a strength. It means:
You’re tuned in.
You care.
You notice nuance.
You process the world through more than logic—you bring heart to the table.
It’s not that your emotions were ever “too big.” It’s that no one taught you what to do with them. And that’s not your fault.
Healing = Relearning Emotional Safety
Healing doesn’t mean you stop crying, venting, or needing support. It means you learn to hold space for your emotions without shame.
In therapy, we work to:
Reframe sensitivity as strength
Build emotional regulation tools without suppression
Learn how to differentiate between emotional expression and emotional dysregulation
Reconnect with your body’s natural cues instead of bypassing them
You also begin to seek out relationships where your feelings are:
Met with curiosity, not criticism
Welcomed, not weaponized
Witnessed, not dismissed
Because emotional safety isn’t about never feeling hard things: it’s about knowing you’re allowed to.
Final Thoughts: You Were Never “Too Much”
If no one’s ever said this to you before, let me say it now:
You were never too emotional.
Your reactions made sense.
You were adapting to survive in a place that didn’t make room for your truth.
That was never a reflection of your worth.
And now? You’re allowed to re-learn that your emotions aren’t a flaw to fix. They’re a language to honor.
Want to work on unlearning emotional shame in therapy?
Our therapists offer virtual therapy for people in NY, NJ, & FL focused on trauma, body image, and emotional healing.
Our Services
At HLH Therapy, our relational therapists offer virtual therapy for individuals and couples in New York, New Jersey, & Florida. We specialize in Maternal Mental Health (including infertility, IVF, pregnancy, and postpartum), Eating Disorders, Disordered Eating, Body Image, Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, and Couples Therapy.