Things I Wish I Knew About Food and My Body Before Starting Recovery
Healing your relationship with food and your body is one of the bravest, most transformative journeys you can take.
But here’s the truth: recovery is not linear, and it rarely looks like what social media or diet culture tell us it should.
As a therapist working with people healing from disordered eating and body image struggles, I’ve seen firsthand how challenging and life-changing, this process can be.
These are the things I wish someone had told me (or my clients) before beginning this journey:
Part One: The Early Stages of Recovery
1. You Won’t Always Feel Like Eating
You won’t always feel hungry, and you won’t always want to eat. That’s normal. Recovery means choosing to eat anyway, even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient. Remember: feelings aren’t facts.
2. Hunger Doesn’t Always Feel Like a Growling Stomach
Sometimes hunger shows up as anxiety, irritability, dizziness, or exhaustion. Learning to recognize these subtle cues is a key part of rebuilding trust with your body.
3. The Urge to Restrict Doesn’t Mean You’re Failing
When old patterns resurface, it’s not a sign that you’ve failed. It’s actually a sign of healing. Your body and brain are adjusting, and your old coping strategies may flare up as a form of self-protection. Recovery reminder: urges are information, not instructions.
4. You May Grieve Your Past Body
Even if that past body was unwell, you might find yourself missing it. Grief doesn’t mean you want or need to go back; it just means you’re processing change. It’s okay to hold space for both gratitude for healing and sadness for what you’ve left behind.
5. “Fine” With Food Isn’t the Same as Free With Food
You might get to a place where you’re “okay” with food, but true freedom comes when food no longer feels like a source of fear, stress, or constant mental noise. Keep going: you deserve more than just fine.
6. Others Won’t Always Understand Your Journey
People may compliment your appearance without realizing the inner battle you’re fighting. Protect your peace by setting boundaries and remembering: your worth isn’t up for debate.
Part Two: Deeper Lessons Along the Way
1. Your Meals Don’t Have to Look Like Anyone Else’s
“What I eat in a day” posts can be harmful comparisons. Your meals don’t need to be aesthetic or perfectly balanced: They just need to nourish you.
2. Fullness Isn’t Failure
Feeling full is a normal, healthy part of eating. Satisfaction isn’t indulgence, and you never have to “earn” or “burn off” your meals.
3. Body Image Is About Safety, Not Just Appearance
Body image work isn’t really about loving what you see in the mirror: It’s about how safe and at home you feel living inside yourself. Healing happens when you shift the focus inward.
4. There’s No Gold Star for Restriction
Undereating doesn’t make you “disciplined” or “good.” It just leaves you depleted: physically, mentally, and emotionally. The cost is always greater than the reward.
5. You Can Reclaim Movement as Joy
Exercise doesn’t have to be punishment. When you heal your relationship with movement, it becomes a way to connect with your body, not control it.
6. Healing Doesn’t Always Look Pretty or Brave
Sometimes recovery looks like crying while eating a sandwich. It’s messy, vulnerable, and deeply human. You don’t have to be perfectly “strong” to be making progress.
7. You’ll Miss the Predictability of Old Patterns
Disordered eating can feel safe because it’s predictable.
Letting go is scary, but what you gain is priceless: your freedom, your joy, and your life.
Final Thoughts: A Note of Hope
Recovery is not a straight line, and it doesn’t happen overnight. There will be setbacks, urges, and moments of grief; but there will also be growth, resilience, and freedom you may not have thought possible.
If you’re in the thick of it, remember: you’re not alone. Healing is hard, but it’s also worth it. With time, support, and self-compassion, you can rebuild a relationship with food and your body that’s grounded in trust, safety, and peace.
If you’re feeling all kinds of feelings about your body changing, know you’re not alone.
Living in New York, New Jersey, or Florida and in need of an eating disorder therapist? Reach out today for a free consultation!
Follow along on our blog and our practice owner, Hilary Hovis, LCSW on Instagram and TikTok for more Body Positivity tips.
Our Services
At HLH Therapy, our relational therapists offer virtual therapy for individuals and couples in New York, New Jersey, & Florida. We specialize in Maternal Mental Health (including infertility, IVF, pregnancy, and postpartum), Eating Disorders, Disordered Eating, Body Image, Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, and Couples Therapy.
Would you benefit from support from a therapist? We offer free 15 minute consultations to determine best fit.