Social (Media) Comparison

By: Jordan Karson, LMSW

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”

-Steve Furtick

We all have certain triggers that cause our confidence to take a sudden nosedive. Unfortunately, social media provides us with numerous platforms to quickly trigger that unpleasant self-disdain. 

People tend to only showcase the best parts of themselves and their lives. 

The arrival of a new baby or puppy, a recent trip to the Caribbean, a move, or a romantic getaway are all ideal picture-posting occasions. But do these same people post photos of 2 a.m. feedings, lost luggage, arguments, etc? The answer is not often, because even though that would provide a sense of reality, it wouldn’t show the perfect perception they’ve created.

Reality is what is lost on social media. We highlight the best versions of ourselves instead of the real versions. Life can be hard and ugly at times. But those likely aren’t the adjectives most of us would use to describe the photos we post on our accounts. Comparing our true reality to others’ glorified, Instagram realities can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction when scrolling through our newsfeed.

We are using the same scale to measure two entirely different realities. 

Read that again.

So next time yourself scrolling Instagram, saying things like: 

“How can I get a glamourous job like that?” “Why can’t I look that good?” “Look at how perfect their life is.” 

Take a deep breath and pause.

-Assess where those negative comparisons are coming from. 

As unpleasant as these comparisons can feel, they can serve a positive purpose in that they may inform us of an area of our lives that we seek to improve. This can help us redirect our focus to identifying tangible goals and real-life steps towards achieving them. 

-Reduce your time on social media.

This can be a challenge since we live in a culture that puts such a high value on social media outlets. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

Try allowing yourself five to ten minutes a day to check your social media accounts and then be done with it. Especially avoid looking at profiles of people who trigger thoughts of comparison. 

I myself am going on an Instagram hiatus. We’ll see how long it lasts but I will report back!